Little by little, I can see the ocher cranium gathering his spirits and waking up from his slumber that seemed so Herculean task to me and I cried once again, moving and curving my lips to the rhythm of Selena’s “heart want what it wants” playing somewhere in the background….crushing and slaying my once powerful chord of guts that slipped away making me feel like this world isn’t enough for me to fill my remorse, my precious tears.

December was so cold then, hurting my naked figure that you once loved to curl on, but it was left there in the linen under your shirt, so big on me, and you slept snoring tugging the last of our blanket that once used to cover up our abnormalities and we laughed out loud care-free into the horizon of our bliss. But, those were so distant, like the memories of fusion and you burning in my delight. Looking at your bare back, I want to feel the curves of your abs pressing on my back, but that seems so desperate and I wanted to hug my knees and cry, in the forlorn shades of your arms….they seems to be so strange for me, as our soliloquy become a cacophony for both of us

Listen, can you whisper this trust, that once you chanted like a mantra….Can you love me, like the way you used to ride on our symphony….your laughter echoes through my chalk walls and I feel dainty…….wishing if the moon, that have risen today could kiss me the passion I once had, if that is what is lost…..I wish if the stars could glimmer me up, which my old Mac and L’o’real can’t…

I prepared myself for a break which felt so horrendous when felt and it was nothing like the pain, when you forgot to kiss me, and your smell lingering with some cheap shot not mine and those bite marks nibbling under your collar which has a tinge of red hue, a different shade from mine……this hurt felt nothing like the suspended air breathing through me, filling a void but never complete and I use our record, over and over again to get this down…But, you never left and so I was warming with our memories, cracking like our vase, which hold millions reminisce, sweet and not.

I wished not those jewelry which you bought for me….i wished not the million wealth that you earned for me…..I wished not the river which you dug for me….. I wished for your touch that ignited a passion in me and welded all the cheap holes playing a distant sonata so much like the oppressed cathedral tunes, but you knew not the symphony which was music to me…….

blinded by those grey cellular memories so much pricking my heart to cry again, I felt drained and exhausted, but, you never left and I had to paint a cage with those white chalk and I curled up inside. wishing if the rays of this glimmering sun could kiss my cheeks with those old passion and radiate me. in the galore of nothingness I hugged myself and thought about the endless rivers I gave birth to and feared where will I reserve my baby, but you was so oblivion to the both of us, I lip synced a voice not mine to stay strong and closed the grey carousel….

……and I feel lost in the sepia of loneliness…….


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