you and I can never be a melody of soothing lyrics.

sa1

I pulled,
yet another verb
from the white lifeless canvas-
and the origami in my hands,
took flight.

I watched it
from my doorstep;
unknowingly
waiting for a
non-existent footstep.

you see,
the rose in my hands
knew how to draw blood;
playing
you love me not,
while watching random shows
of couples kissing
under the moonlight-
a dream
I dreamt
not too long ago.

do you mind?
let’s paint nothing
in this blackened night sky-
and laugh
as the stars diagonally shoot
lightening bolts
in our depressed monologue.

but it all ends
as the foam bubbles out
from my lips;
and the more I convince
you are there for me,
the more you vanish
leaving behind tiny imprints
of faded graffiti
on my staccato brain.

listen;
to this deliberate cacophony
of my disembarked hopes
and compose a melody
with my silly love notes.

but wait till
I wash ashore,
so that you can find my chipped promise
in my palm;
crumbled… yet beating
in the name of you.

dear,
for the last time,
can you sleep with me
in the folds of my sleepless nights
and color
my life in the shade of your eyes?

for I have lost
the hang of being alone;
since you have never
left me
yet you are nowhere I can see.

I know,
if you put a bullet into my head
and as I bleed crimson giggles;
you will still be there
warming my bare bones,
but laughing with the others
for pushing me down.

can you do me a favor?
as the new star dawns out on the horizon…
can you vanish like the rhinestones
from my liquid vision
that seems to dry even more than
last year

I do have a desire
to die leaking pink sonnets;
than mosaic smiles.

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Apple tart melody and salted pillows as the stage- Meditation Fail.

 

Image result for girl in yoga silhouette outline

I tried meditating in the sun, pouring through dusty slits of defiance; while I let myself soak in the morning grace of Sunday’s profanity. Its bread and blasphemy for breakfast with a little bit of bitter truth, for syrup, you know. I don’t know how it’s supposed to be, but I close my eyes irritated by the incessant knocking of unmelodious belch that needed to move out from my dormitory. I didn’t let it go. I gulped down fresh breath of cheerfulness and rotated my head like a slow song. My eyes fluttered.

Is this how serenity’s supposed to be? With angry ringtones in the tip of my throat croaking ugly sonnets throughout the day while I tried to capture as much positivity that the universe’s throwing around. Well, I guess today is not my day to earn myself a tan. I once again tie my knot and sit straight with head poised like a statue wondering how long I should be seated like this to embrace solace.

Once, inside the tranquility, I guess… it will ease my tent and let loose the parachute in the wind. I don’t know where this is moving me, but I guess it has to reach somewhere the sky is always periwinkle and clouds soft as cotton candy. I ignore the dancing dust particles that look happy with the only attention they get when in the strip of lemon syrup. I blow hard; hard enough to disrupt their slow pacing around like elegant ballerinas. I did not open my eyes. I smiled.

I listen to the slow rotation of the minute needle. Like it’s taking a stroll in the greenest garden. I wanted to open my eyes and search for the finish point in which I will get my bag of crayons so that I can set to paint the future in one straight line and add too many colors for happiness. I deliberately ignored black and banished grays. I, also do not need white, since I am all done with stippling freckles in place of where the wetness have left stains. I am all done with jumping from this tense to that sense, since, I can never stay in one place. I seriously need that red dot to focus but all I see are too many happy specks dancing around. Some, even giggling.

I sigh, then open my eyes, slump shoulders, uncross legs, and roll my eyes at the decision of heart to relax. I dared to look up at the waltzing needles and gape wide… it has been only fifteen minutes since I sat down, dwindling in the strong morning rays. So much for peace and optimism. I threw my yoga mat and boosted the rotund fat belly of a black liar and shook my hips to the blazing tunes whilst I let it go in the shower.