Possessed- My book.

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So, have you ever had the beautiful opportunity to be scared in your life because of some unnatural, unexplainable event?

Have you ever been touched by an unseen hand?

Have you ever listened to a whisper by silence?

Can you imagine to be in a life of Conjuring where reality is far more worse than Conjuring?

Can you imagine a life of a girl who had to go through her whole life in such unnatural happenings?

If you are really interested in such a paranormal, mind-boggling thriller, head on to @wattpad and go to @LostIn2Sight and click #possessed, Only in #wattpad 🙂

This is an advertisement, I guess to myself because I want more people to know about the risk and clarity of reality. Because you believe in science, it doesn’t mean you are safe from Supernatural Science!

Read and enjoy 🙂

Hello blog.

 
I’m not sure what am I supposed to write today. No, I don’t know what I should ever write. There is too much to say in my mind. Not to someone, you see. I mean the things that I want to say is not to someone but myself.
You see, people are strange creatures. No matter how hard we try to impress, they mock us. No matter how pressingly we address the issue, there will be something to put us to shame. No matter how hard you try to express your emotions; whatever it may be, sadness, grief, guilt, anger, pain…. no matter what emotions… they either act as if they understood or they might give us the pity stare and then they will laugh behind our back.

So, I have stopped talking and started being silly and laughing queen. So, you know what they say about me? I am so happy… ok, I can live with that. But they also say, ‘she is so stupid. Why can’t she act her age?‘ wow!¡ That’s… wow…

I just don’t know blog… life is too damn straight at times that er just go with the flow and suddenly we alone are hit with a huge barricade and we are forced to see… everyone else that was with me; to climb the mountain and reach somewhere. But for me? I am forced to take the helluva roller coaster ride with damn too many twists and turn.

Sometimes, I just quit… I just can’t.

And when I read about articles that should help me… I am confused even more. Not satisfied. How am I supposed to create positive thinking and live with it when all I ever have is bad… bad thoughts?

But no matter how horrible the day and life may be… I have learned to smile and laugh in the end and then cry when I am in the darkness; alone.

Life can be as bad as anything but I will go on as long as I can tape the broken pieces of my heart together.

Meet you again blogg 🙂

Whoops, its wedding season here!

Featured Image -- 209Note to myself, this pic here!:D

True to my word, it is marriage season here in my part of the world. 😀 And I am seriously wondering how am I going to attend it all. It started from last week and it drags on to the last day of December and if I am right, I am sure I have a marriage in January.

wow, right?

Nope!

seriously, nope! Since I am already in the fat department, from the moment I can remember my body! may I add! All the food and wonders will only gain weight to my already weighted body and seriously, I am not entirely excited about all these marriages!

I mean, its fun, and its free food! But other than that, I have to face the mocking faces, the stupid questions, indirect insults on my body and direct mockery to the food I eat! Dang, I am one body shielding from too many bodies. Damn, I need the energy.

Though I have been fat my entire life and I am twenty-two now, so yea! Long period, and my dream, the foremost dream was to experience how it is to be slim! WOW, big ambition, yes, it is! I don’t want to be a doctor, I don’t want to be a business legend! I want to experience how it is to be slim and dress casually without fearing the bulging eye under my arms, on my belly and two pillars of my thighs! So, what was I gonna say!? Yes, though I have been fat my entire life and have been enjoying people’s damn comments on my body… I am strong and never… I repeat, never droop my head low and cry because of my fate.

I am fat, big deal! You are thin, so? So… If there are any people who are sorry for themselves for being fat… STOP PITYING YOURSELF! If you are fat because you can’t keep your mouth shut from fattening foods, then I should say, you really need to consider yourself! I am not blaming you not mocking you or anything. I am just saying you have a chance to be beyoutiful and healthy at the same time. It’s awesome to be yourself but it’s dope to be healthy and yourself, right?! I am sorry, I am not good at getting my points in the right directions! SO, don’t feel offended or anything! I am overly fat, so I know how it feels to stuff that next mouthful and promising that we will stop right then! 😉 I am in the unfortunate few who are fat from the beginning and have never been able to shed at least a few!  I think I am having some kind of virus to gain fat every few weeks :)) But trying is the new synonym for success! 😉

SO, where were we? Marriage! Yes. The holy night of squeezing two souls into one!

SO, yea, let me enjoy the colors, the mockery, the food and definitely the comments, “I will be single my whole life if I won’t shed some weight” Like that’s your concern granny gi!

Ciao, I am blessed to have my secret moments of ranting since I may be a huge blob of fat, but I am certainly not a superhuman who can stuff all the emotions in!

Thanks for listening to me Blog! I love you 🙂

Immortal you…

Immortal you…

my-loneliness-devushka-siluet

the music notes are on fire
and I feel you burning
inside my corset of secrets
and you are pulling a string

I can feel your breath
like autumns chill on my back
scarlet hopes shudder
and I feel your touch on my skin

I know that even if you faded away
there is a side of you with me
shadowing me on my dense sky
making me feel the presence

luminescence, is your soul for me
in the darkest of times
and I will love you
like the stars in my galaxy

forever stay, like the beacon
you have become, forever be
my pride in my honesty
My immortal you…

A mind vomit (Introducing AllPoetry)

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In the haze of fitness pleasure, my mind dwindled and I wanted to rant on about a moment, that I felt…..if only death would have been better. And in that dwindled hope, did I charm out myself in the dark hole of my own insecurities and I cuddled myself like a cricket ball and rolled back and forth, with only the feel of darkness hugging back.

I know the lines just came about and I don’t bother to check back and find the typos and for a person, who is looking for poetic details, shall not find any. Or maybe, I… without proper knowledge in English, will find myself too good but actually I was not even aware of the adjectives and noun I was placing. Language for me is the way of communication and I learned this foreign language with extensive reading and I am happy. Even though when my poems get applause, they usually say, you’re use of metaphors and placing of adjectives is astounding and I will be like wondering where this so called thing is? I know, even after reading this “mind vomit” people will applaud for either my way of saying unique things raw or my use of poetic details was immaculate, but either way I was meaning only my hurt and it was an accident that it came out gladly.

Freezing and sweating is a common thing happening to me, and I know not what to do of my body. My eating has rapidly changed course and I eat when I emotionally stressed and I never look at the portion. Thus resulting my curves and when I want to go out, the street will be all eyes peering in on me, saying, so warmly about my marriage and their affinity tugs a chord, but I have to smile….wildly and warmly…otherwise they will doubt some superstitious beliefs and I will in a deep hole of my own doubts.

It is not funny when my head slam too close to my screen and my fingers clinking away my rant, I feel uncomfortable…but, I have to vomit mentally otherwise I feel nauseated and want to end vaguely without any reason. Remember…social charms. To them, I am as happy as a parrot with a biscuit, chanting mantras and fluting songs to their liking…  Never shall they realize my heart, full of load, unable to dump because of society and then I mentally plan a poem with words raw and immaculate, leading to be a perfect anthem of mine and I sing it much too often in my brain, that I instantly snitch to a bloke, so hard that ‘a’ will never fit with a flower.

Besides the sun that sets in my heart always and never even bothering to let the moon rise for a nocturnal splendor, my heart is always dark and weary with memories too hard to digest and it stays bloated in my heart and my heart farts, shamelessly…loving each moment when a gold is right by its side. But, even them I realized, in AP, comment and acceptance is the king, thus the power of spotlight. Even if you have fifty medals in fifty contests, you will never receive a spotlight unless you have fifty comments with acceptance that shall nominate you and push you forth.

This has been pretty much the going on nowadays and I shamelessly and proudly say…ap spoiled me, in a good way.

ll

My movie.

there was a movie

with the label of cranberry fruit cake

melting my luscious desire

and awarding me an Oscar

 

I smiled my most beautiful smile

pouting out, making it look like open strawberry

and many fell for the delight

 

it was a peak time when 

I knew how to swivel with the camera

and roll with the credits

mentioning after shots and loving every moments

smiling naked in the blanket of fame

 

sweet treats

and sugary sweets

loved the limelight

and I hung around spotlight

never letting go of the spot

 

in the heavenly world of flashes

and fake smiles

I pancaked my face with desire and fake smiles

making me look like a goddess

and I know, that is my cue

to undulating rolls of business pleasure

 

In this movie, I did act as me

with the stare of my birth-mom

who never knew what bliss is

it was a family tradition

to be born with no money and live with only water

the one that flow through your walls

collected in pots and pan

only fresh when it rains

 

this was when I was lovingly living

inside my mom’s womb 

and when they plucked me away

from the safe heaven

I knew not what safety and purity was

but from then on

I never had to close my only book

which made me look amazing

and set a price for the eyes

which see me pleasing…

 

and then,

did I act upon the stage

in front of the camera

pouting my lips which yearns to tell a tale

of falling rain and eating lies

 

once, I acted upon a stage

where they shot a movie

with the label of cranberry fruit cake

melting my luscious desire

and awarding me an Oscar

I enjoyed writing this, a life of a girl who entered fame being ____________Did you understand?   

 

This is a poem explaining about a girl who was forced into being prostitutes….

and roll with the credits

mentioning after shots and loving every moments

smiling naked in the blanket of fame

 

from a young age, who was forced to, from the safe place with her mother…

 

inside my mom’s womb 

and when they plucked me away

from the safe heaven

 

womb I mentioned for the safe place with mother, young finds security within mother. And then she was rose to fame being an actress (bad one)

 

there was a movie

with the label of cranberry fruit cake

melting my luscious desire

and awarding me an Oscar

 

Oscar was just a mention of Praise and fame and then labeling which is mentioning….

 

I love writing this

untitled.

In the sweetest of nocturnal ponds, my eyes dip in the cool shores of silver, waiting to be rolled in warm bliss, by your fragrance wafting around the pond. Golden charm resonate while you hum, the melody of my serenade and I pinch myself to see this ballad is real and not a mild mirage like those dandelions there in your eyes. I dip my quill in the river of your love and write in the canvas of jasmine and rose. our love is the closure of unending legacies, unraveling through years of melted sonata

Our song is the boon of your whispers, where I slip into the gardens of Eden, devouring the eloquent shade of poetry only to write you an ode, from the temporal lobe of my cranium. Our song is the ballad sung by undulating wrapping up of blankets in the sultry ambiance of indigo passions. Our love is the shade of moon, whispering to the stars and guiding the way of forbidden fruits like us.

O divine verses of prose, glide me through your indispensable proximity of my love, that flows through the veins of river in between the root that hold the deepest of pleasure, that flutter through the dreams of pink, orange, amber, red painted sky….that mix with the zilch effervescence of this seedless night.

I shall make you weep those ink of eloquent aura, making me drip with emotions as your verses tangle my brains. I behold the torch of your divine presence that unveil glaciers and waterfalls of enduring metaphor, and I bathe in this pond of reverberation to rattle my love towards you, O fine piece of beauty.