I know I started this blog due to frustration and my poetry didn’t help me like it used to once. I wanted to be a writer and earn money from that.But it is not easy and I know my English is not what they wish to read.
I am a drop out from college because of the harassment and insulting nature of my teachers because I was not able to portray what they seek and that was because I suffer from migraine and something else which I don’t want to talk about now. I take leave once in a week and was back in the academics. My teacher was so good that they kept on teasing and using all ways of bad influence in me and they never asked me, “How do I feel.” after I come from a fortnight leave. Like wise I was not able to attend my last year examination due to lack of attendance and now I am a degree less graduate in the eyes to all those who saw me dress up and leave.
I have had a lot of situations which made me want to end life and I always felt like this is all going wrong and I can’t bear with it. But, I had to go on because of my mother. Never had I thought otherwise whenever I look at her, she is my angel and the only power making me wanna live again, she showed me god is great and whatever may strike but he wont let us go astray.
Now,that I have started this blog,I write my heart as a diary. Whenever I see a like, I feel happy because I believe you have read my mind and liked what is swirling in my mind. And when I see a comment I go “whoa, nice..” people do want to let their mind speak. I see either people stick on with beauty,travel, fashion, food….And I swim through every bit that I write my hurt now, then I write something of nature and then I go with something my mind and then comes poetry! A tangled emotion and a web of nightmares.
You see, this is the problem. I am not stable and I don’t stay in one place. I want to move and keep my mind occupied or else I feel undigested, constipated and angry. I feel like everything is going to end and everything is not what it seems. “Sigh”….Everything happens for a reason and now I am looking for a fixed north star to shoot and aim for the best.